Love Square
by blackwingsgreeneyes
Summary: Ulquiorra is in love with Orihime who is in love with Ichigo who is in love with Rukia who is in love with Ulquiorra. Wow, talk about the more complex version of a love traingle! Ulquihime and Ichiruki eventually
1. Rukia the Stalker

**_Hm, so this is my second fic ever...wow im feeling slightly better about myself...NOT! XD I do not own bleach and never will and IF i did Ulquiorra would never have died! T.T_**

* * *

Falling in love is a wonderful thing.

When your young, you feel like you have all the time in the world to meet that special someone and share the rest of your life with your companion until the end of your days.

Wonderful, isn't it?

However, love can also be very complicated. You can't help who you fall in love even when said person's heart belongs to another.

Everyone knows what a love triangle is right? I mean, who hadn't heard of it already!

For those people who don't know what it is, it's when two different people love the same person.

Thus, creating a love triangle!

So in a love triangle, there can also be an unrequited love, sad huh? It's when you have special feelings for someone who probably can't share the same feelings towards you.

Doesn't that sucks? Your probably thinking love sucks now and will probably avoid it at all costs. So it can be a good thing, AND it can be a bad thing, but it can also be something that you didn't think it would be.

It can also be something very hilarious.

Love triangle? Talk about headache. Well, what about a love SQUARE? An never ending cycle of love.

Do you want to see a love square? A very funny, yet ROMANTIC love square?

Besides falling in love isn't a laughing matter. Especially, when the love square involves 4 very different people.

Those people:

Ulquiorra Schiffer

Orihime Inoue

Ichigo Kurosaki

And Rukia Kuchiki

Let's take a look at their CRAZY love, shall we?

**WARNING: ThISLOVE SQUARE MAY CONTAIN FUNNY MOMENTS, LAUGHING FROM REVIEWERS (HOPEFULLY), PERVERTED COMMENTS, STALKING ABILITIES, OBSESSED LOVE,** **STEALING OTHER PEOPLES CLOTHES WHEN LEFT UNATTENDED, CHOCOLATE DONUTS AND** **SNEAKING INTO OTHER PEOPLE'S HOUSES.**

* * *

It was a bright sunny day when she saw the man of her dreams walking down the streets looking as gorgeous as ever.

Despite it being a very hot sunny day, his face was expressionless as always not at all being bothered by the high temperature it currently was outside, his sexy emerald eyes staring at the opposite direction in where she was currently hiding.

His dark uncombed raven hair being the total opposite of the bright day fell loosely to his shoulders, his beautiful pale face probably hasn't seen the light of day but she didn't mind. She loved him even more for that! Seeing his pale skin made her wanted to run her hand down his cheek and place a kiss there.

Oh one could only dream!

He had a pair of tight black jeans with a chain on his pocket with a black button down shirt that suited him very well. He also had converse on with a black and white checker pattern, with a watch that was on his wrist, along with what appeared to be an orange string bracelet with a blue flower on the middle. (That didn't suit him very well she noted)

However, what really caught her attention was the fact that the buttons in his shirt were all left unbutton, revealing his hairless skinny yet muscular body for the whole world to stare at.(Much to her jealousy, she didn't want anybody besides her to see him half naked.) Commence the inappropriate drooling….right now!

She stared with her binoculars as he opened the plastic bag he had with him pulling out a small water bottle. He opened it and began drinking from it thirstily.

Well of course he would have a water bottle! It was over 90 degrees outside! He was probably dehydrated.

She began squealing at the marvelous sight in front of her. Drinking from the water bottle rather fast, she saw how water would spill down his mouth and run down his chin making him appear rather sloppy yet adorable.

She immediately began to have naughty thoughts! Oh how she wanted to climb down the tree, (her current hiding spot) glomp the raven haired man and LICK the trail of water running down his chin away.

It was every fangirl's dream after all.

What time was it? What time was it! She quickly checked her watch on her small wrist. 10:21 it said. She grabbed her black book bag that was hanging from a branch, opened it, and pulled out her super special secret notebook from it and began scribbling on it with her neat handwriting.

_10:21- He drank from his water bottle in a very sexy way._

She smiled and began to look through her list and proudly read through it.

_7:31- He got up from bed_

_7:40- Brushed his teeth and took a shower_

_7:50_–_He could no longer find his white button down shirt that he left on his bed to wear that morning_ *giggle*

_7:52 - Got dressed without it_

_8:03 - Began to eat some toast with jelly along with some black coffee_

_10:00 - Stepped outside and went to a grocery store, he purchased a water bottle_

_10:15- Approaching a clothing store to purchase more new clothes to replace the ones that go 'missing' _(Quite often it does)

_10:21- He drank from his water bottle in a very sexy way._

She closed her notebook, revealing a bright pink cover with multiple drawings on it.

Right smack on the middle, was a big red heart with two names written inside with a pink crayon.

"Rukia Kuchi + Ulquiorra Schiffer 4 ever!"

On the back cover, there were two small badly drawn figures that had a striking resemblance to both him and her holding hands, they looked like bunny rabbits.

The raven haired girl hugged her notebook to her chest and smiled contently. Oh how she loved Ulquiorra! He was everything she ever wanted in her dream husband.

Besides, there were various reasons in why that would make such a cute couple.

The first think was that they both had raven hair. How cute was that? The second would be that they both look good in tight jeans. Third, even though he was average height, she was small and barely reached his shoulders. _But size didn't matter right?_ Fourth, although his eyes were green and hers purple, both colors looked great together. (In her fangirl opinion) Finally, um..uh..well… uh…she couldn't think of anymore, but they still made a cute couple either way!

Rukia placed her stalking not- uh I mean super special secret notebook back in her bag placed it on her back and took out a white button down shirt and **sniffed** it. (Wow, so that's where Ulquiorra's shirt went missing!)

Oh God, it still smelled like him! She let out a small squeal and began to rub his shirt on her face as her cheeks became a rosy pink color.

Yup, it was official. She was totally in love with the pale man. She wanted to scream in happiness as she began to fantasize about them both going on a date together!

First, they would go to the movies, he would boldly place his right arm over her shoulder, and she would happily comply. They would get ONE smoothie together, (Vanilla being his favorite flavor, how did she know? Well she surely didn't find out after following him that one time last week!) They would both share it with two straws while they both stared into each other's eyes. After that, they would go to the park and have a picnic enjoying the food that he had cooked (she was a terrible cook after all) while making jokes and having fun conversations.

Then it would become dark outside and he would have to realize that he had to take her home. At the doorsteps, he would give her a long yet passionate kiss, (With tongue of course!) Rukia would invite him inside knowing that her big brother wasn't home, Ulquiorra would happily accept the invitation.

After coming in, he would grab her face with his strong pale hands and kiss her once more. She would wrap her arms around his neck, face him eye to eye (She would have to stand on her toes) while pulling the zipper of his black jacket down and….and….and….

Rukia couldn't help let out a loud squeal and she blushed furiously.

She started to giggle shyly realizing what she was fantasizing about. This was totally out of character for her! Rukia Kuchiki was known as a short yet serious young woman! She was strong and wise and at times acted tom-boyish. She wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty in a fight and most certainly wouldn't allow anybody to stumble all over her trying to act superior.

She and her childhood best friend would always argue and scream at each other. She would even punch him a few times for always making fun of her bunny drawings. (Know who her best friend is? *wink wink*) Nobody would **EVER** think of her as a girly shy person, especially with her attitude!

Actually that fantasy just now reminded her awfully a lot of her dream she had the other day.

COMMENCE RUKIA KUCHIKI'S SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME DREAM:

_It was in a stage at what appeared to be an abadoned theater that Rukia was the only person sitting in the seat in the front row. She had on a black beautiful dress with black high heels. She also had on a pearl necklace while her hair was straight with a light touch of makeup. _(This is the moment where all the fanboys would scream for joy!) _The red curtains opened revealing a wooden chair in the middle of the stage and soon after that Ulquiorra Shiffer himself showed up and sat on the very chair. He took his hands and started to remove his red button down shirt in a slow arousing way. After letting his shirt fall to the floor, his amazing body came into view. Rukia stared eyes wide opened in anticipation. After leaning back on his chair and looking up, Ulquiorra took the rope that was hanging from the ceiling and pulled it, from doing so, a huge splash of water fell on him leaving him soak from head to toe. His black tight leather jeans were wet along with his converse. He slowly stood up, revealing his hair drenched that clinged to his face from being wet. He moved his head slowly to the side, eyes half lidded with his mouth slightly opened. OH SWEET JESUS HE LOOKED SO HOT AT THAT MOMENT. It could have been illegal to look so appetizing. But before Rukia could get up from her seat and claim her prize, she had woken up._

Damn those monsters known as alarm clocks for being so loud to wake a person up!

END OF RUKIA KUCHIKI'S SUPER SPECIAL AWESOME DREAM.

She laughed to herself lying on a branch while her cheeks turned pink, only **HER** Ulquiorra Schiffer could make her act in a way that nobody was familiar with and make her dream of the things that made her heart do flip-flops.

Besides they were lovers! He just didn't know it yet.

Rukia started to squeal loudly while kicking her legs up and down causing green leaves to fall on the ground. She was blocking out the rest of the world with her most-likely-not-gonna-happen day dreaming.

Now if only she realized that her suppose boyfriend (**A/N:** he's not your boyfriend, he's mine!) was approaching her way not knowing that his crush (More like stalker) was just on the tree above him.

From all the noise and kicking that she was making, Rukia didn't notice that the branch she was currently lying on was slowly breaking. Finally hearing a loud breaking noise, Rukia's eyes shot wide opened, all giggling seized.

She let out a loud gasp after realizing that she was falling from the tree. A very tall tree!

She tried to grab a branch but instead grabbed nothing but air, she closed her eyes and clutch Ulquiorra's white button down shirt for dear life. She hugged herself along with the shirt as her legs were criss-crossed outstretched in front of her. She closed her eyes tightly and slowly braced herself for the painful fall she was about to endure.

Except that it never came.

Thinking in her mind out loud, she began to wonder what the heck just happened. Where was the painful fall? Why wasn't she groaning in pain? Why didn't she feel warm red blood in head or any other part of her body? Why couldn't she feel broken bones in her body?

Why didn't she feel any pain at all? Instead why did she feel a cold arm on the back of her neck and another arm under her knees?

As she slowly opened her eyes and turned her neck, her wide purple eyes met bright green ones.

Ulquiorra looked at her with a mix of confusion and surprised. One moment he's walking while minding his own business, the next a small girl fell on his arms. What the hell was the world coming to?

He merely stared at her while holding her bridal style getting a clear look on her. Despite the fact that it was blazing hot outside, she was wearing a black winter hat with her short raven hair sticking out in all directions, she had what appeared to be a dog collar on her neck with small spikes coming out of it with leather black bracelets on her wrists that also had spikes. _"What strange taste."_ He thought. She had black baggy pants that had multiple pockets for no reason with a black long sleeved shirt that fitted her like a second skin while also revealing her belly button. She also had black sandals on with a small black book bag on her back.

"_These clothes would have look suprisingly well on her instead..." _He thought yet stopped his train of thought after seeing the only color that wasn't black (besides her purple eyes of course) being clutched on her small hands. It looked like a familiar white shirt…**HIS** white shirt.

Putting two and two together, he finally discovered something.

"Isn't that my…?"

His sentence was soon cut off as the girl literally leaped from his arms leaving a small thud to be heard from the ground.

"Um, no I don't know you sir! Don't worry I'm alright- and uh I'm sorry but I'm gonna be late for something….." She seemed at a loss for words. "Thanks for saving me sir, but I'm gonna be late for something so I …uh…well…um…THANKS FOR SAVING ME!" And with that the small raven haired girl ran down the street while amazingly dodging people, dogs, and food carts.

"She left in quite a hurry." He noted. Ulquiorra looked at the ground to see what the girl had dropped and slowly picked it up. "Binoculars?" Why was see have these while being up in a tall tree? "It seems that whoever she was spying on, couldn't have known about her presence in a tree, what a clever hiding spot." He put the binoculars in his bag. "I am quite sure that the clothing that girl had was my shirt, I assume we could make an exchange now, my clothing for her binoculars." He said coldly to no one in particular.

Having enough of the strange morning, Ulquiorra entered the clothing store to make new purchases.

* * *

Rukia's heart nearly exploded right out of chest. It was beating so fast, she was sure that it was faster by sound now! She didn't even know how he made it to her house. She looked around searching for something to release her happiness upon but eventually found someone on his laptop on the living room couch obviously doing his work, and with his job it was no wonder why they lived in such a huge house. He was in charge of a whole company of course.

"Nii-sama? I didn't know you were here." She stated. He was almost never home after all.

"And I didn't know you were so short, perhaps you should drink more milk." He joked.

"BUT I DRINK THREE GALLONS OF MILK EVERY WEEK!" she shouted. "I don't know why I'm so small!" "It's frustrating to be so small!" "Especially in the…well…uh…" Rukia looked at her chest in disappointment. Her pathetic chest. Her A-cup pathetic chest. "I'm sorry for screaming at you Nii-sama." She bowed her head slightly. "Its just that im in a good mood right now." She showed him a small smile.

Byakuya Kuchiki looked up from his lab top and instead toward his younger sister. He looked with great annoyance at her outfit.

"I see that your style of clothing is just the same as ever." He noted. "You never use to wear those clothes until the 5th grade."Tell me Rukia, what exactly happened that caused a great change in your appearance?" He was rather curious.

"I would prefer not to tell you since it is my business and my business alone, now if you excuse me Nii-sama, i will head to my room now till dinner."

With that, Rukia climbed upstairs and ran straight to her room locking her door. She leaped toward her bed, grabbed her pillow and screamed with joy into it. She was so happy! She was happier than a bunny with a carrot! (Actually that's kind of cute! Bunnies are so adorable!) The love of her life had saved her from what could have resulted in a pretty bad injury. Okay, maybe he didn't mean to save her on purpose. Young girls just don't fall from the sky. (Well in her case, they did)

She remembered his strong arms holding her. His scent as they were so close. Her being so close to his unclothed chest. Her eyes meeting his green eyes for just a second, and then he saw his white shirt. Wow, talk about ruining a moment.

Rukia held Ulquiorra's white shirt as she unbutton all the buttons. She then grabbed her body pillow from her bed and began dressing it with the shirt. When she was done she squeezed the life out of it, taking note that his scent was still on the shirt. It was as if she was hugging Ulquiorra himself. "I'll sleep with this pillow every day." She said to herself.

Feeling rather hot from being outside in such a high temperature, Rukia decided to take a nice and relaxing shower. She took of her hat and threw it on her bed. Taking off her collar and leather bracelets, she placed it in one of the small shelves she had in her room. She removed her shirt, pants, and undergarments, letting it fall of her body and on to the floor.

Unfortunately for Rukia, she didn't notice the pair of brown eyes staring at her from his window, mouth wide open using binoculars of his own while his orange hair went unnoticeable from the house across the street just from hers.


	2. Friendship Zone

The orange haired man sighed in complete bliss.

Yup, it was official, he couldn't have chosen a better day to stay home and spy on the love of his life. She being the only woman in the world that could have him act as weird as he did. Oh, lord did it ever suck that they were only friends. The man would have jumped off a FREAKIN BUILDING for God's sake if it meant that by doing so, Rukia would be in his arms and finally be able to see him as a man instead of just a childhood friend. If Rukia was by his side, then he would have been happier than a girl who just found out that she grew an extra bra size. Unfortunately, she wasn't. They could hangout together as **FRIENDS**. They could go to the movies together as **FRIENDS**. They could argue and fight with one another as **FRIENDS.**

HELL! They could even have gotten married together, and it would have only been a ceremony of friendship – No wait scratch that, Byakuya would have had his head on a silver platter if he found out that he was marrying his sweet little sister that practically worshipped him. But then what if his head was place on a gold platter? One with rubies, emeralds, sapphires, and diamonds! Hmm, if that was the case, then maybe he wouldn't have mind having his head chopped off. His head would be in royalty at the very least! And why the hell not? The Kuchiki's could have afforded such an expensive platter.

But no matter what they did together, for how long, her heart wouldn't really be in it. It was clear to her that their relationship would never go pass the friend zone. The orange haired man sighed. God, the friend zone sucked! Rukia's heart would never belong to him. He could have taken a small piece of her heart as friends, but he could never take over it completely. Not completely as HE could. Cause apparently her heart belonged to someone else. To that Ulquiorra Schiffer guy.

Unrequited love sucks.

Ichigo sighed one more. He couldn't imagine in how the hell Rukia ever fell for that guy! The dude's skin was an unhealthy color; he was hardly seen talking to anyone – which probably meant that he was an anti-social guy – he was cold to pretty much everyone he talked to. And yet girls still practically threw themselves at him. Literally! His fangirls would jump off a freaking airplane just to dive themselves at full speed and give him the glomp of his life. Which would result in injuries for the girl, since Ulquiorra would always move to the side before at the last minute. Or sometimes his fangirls would RIDE on an airplane, and write 'I LOVE YOU ULQUIORRA-SAMA" on the sky, while screaming love gibberish. Ah, the things the fangirls would write in the sky….

_"PLEASE MARRY ME ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"_

_"I LOVE YOU ULQUIORRA-KUN!"_

_"BE MINES ULQUIORRA- CHAN!"_

_"PLEASE HAVE MY BABIES ULQUIORRA-SAMA!"_

_" SEX ISN'T THAT SEXY WHEN COMPARED TO YOU, MY LOVE!"_

_"U.S AND INSERT GIRL'S INITIAL HERE."_ With a big heart around it.

"Dammit, you fangirls! Why mess with the calm clouds in the sky to write your damn fantasy wishes? Fantasies that you people probably wrote in your diaries! Your pink and girly diaries that were probably filled with pictures of Ulquiorra that weren't taken properly." The very thought disturbed Ichigo. "Did you get them by stalking the guy 24/7? Is that why the pictures would come out blurry when you finally developed them? You sick fangirls! And what? Where those crazed up books filled with schedules too? Of things that he would do every day? What type of obsess mentally deranged girl would do such a thing?" Ichigo spoke angrily.

All the way across the street, in a house just in front of his, Rukia Kuchiki sneezed.

What the hell! Why did half the girls in Karakura town liked him so damn much! He wasn't anything special! He wasn't a model, famous singer, or any of the things that made girls obsesses over a guy. In a matter of fact, he always had an Apathy expression on his face. His eyes were a cool color – he admits- but one stare into them and your left feeling like someone threw you into a pit of despair.. Yea, he remembered seeing them a couple of times. He would have a frighten feel on the pit of his stomach. Ichigo was too scared to look away, especially knowing that when you try to do so, he would still be staring straight at you as if trying to make you disappear from the face of the earth with his cold stare.

A whole hour could have passed and Ulquiorra could still have been staring at you! To be sweating, to have your heart beat ten times the normal rate, to have goose bumps on your arms, to feel that creepy sensation on your spine; it was not a fun thing to have. And once you turn around with your back facing him, the feeling of knowing that his eyes were still on you would make pretty much anyone faint on the spot. Well any guy at least, the fangirls would have just squealed in delight from being stared at such a fine specimen of man.

Ulquiorra Schiffer would suck the life out of you.

His stare was like God. Looking too see if you were worthy of staying alive or not. Too see if you were worthy of his respect or just worthy enough to be look down upon. And with all due respect, Ichigo still wanted his life.

His messed up life that contained his crazy ass father, his girly girl boy crazy younger sister Yuzu, and his other I'm-such-a-tomboy-that-I-could-totally-pass-as-a-boy soccer playing sister. Maybe she was a boy born in a girl's body? Could be. Then there was his school life, with his weird two best friends; a smart yet sewing loving Ishida and a quiet yet strong as hell Chad, and last but not least, Rukia Kuchiki. The smart yet foolish girl that would probably never know how much he loved her.

For them to hold hands and go out to the movies together as more than friends would be like a silly wish come true. A dream that would never become a reality. A dream that would stay in his mind forever since the small girl was too blinded for her love of Ulquiorra to see that there another guy who could offer him what the pale man couldn't.

Speaking of Rukia where was she? He was too busy thinking of his situation that he didn't notice her naked body already moving to the bathroom where running water could be heard. Dammed, he missed her! Oh well! There was already later tonight when she took her late night showers. He would just have to focus this time with his super powerful hawk eyes! And if he was lucky, Rukia would take a bubble bath too! Aw, she would look so adorable playing with her rubber bunnies.

Then again, wasn't there that one girl Ulquiorra wasn't would always hang out with? The only lucky girl who isn't just able to have full conversations with him but to actually enter his house whenever she pleased? That only girl that the pale man wouldn't call thrash and instead look at her with eyes of longing? Kind of like the eyes he would stare at Rukia with. She was very different than Rukia in every possible way though.

Well first of all, she wasn't as short as Rukia. She was an average teenage girl height he supposed? She had auburn color hair that was almost as orange as his own hair; it was waist length that had two small blue hairpins on both sides of her head. She had silver eyes and creamy color skin that looked healthy when compared to Ulquiorra's and despite her age, she had a surprisingly curvaceous figure with large breasts that were the envy of many girls. Whoa, did that chick have a killer body! With her thin waist and flat stomach, her model like body could have defeated Rukia's puny size hands down! He would hear many of the fangirls in school talk about how pathetic their bodies were when compared to hers.

And what shocked him the most was the fact that she wasn't one of those fangirls! Last time he checked, every girl in Karakura town were in love with him. They loved him like a fat woman loved icecream. Shit, he's even seen some women that were old enough to be his mom, flirting with him in hopes that he would at least spare them five minutes of his time. They were glad to have him talk to them. And by talking he meant, being called thrash.

Were all his fangirls masochists!

If Ulquiorra ignored them, then they would squeal, if he glanced at them for just half a second, then they would literally faint on the spot with stupid grins on their faces that showed nothing but happiness and gratitude that the pale man even spared them a look. And Ichigo would have bet a hundred bucks, if Ulquiorra was to smack them silly or touch them in any physical way then those girls would have had the nosebleed of their lives and ended up in the school's nurse's office in an instant.

Oh God, but when the crazy girls opened the door for him or let him burrowed something like a pen or eraser that he needed for a class, he would say thank you. And just those two damn words would send those weirdo's soaring towards the mountain of happiness, causing them to do more 'generous' stuff for him, so that he could grace them with his words of gratitude, even if he would say it in a rude and cold manner that showed that he wasn't the least bit happy about girls getting in his way all the time. "The way he rejects us like that, just makes him all the more dreamier!" He would hear a couple of girls say.

And he swore, all hell would break loose, when Rukia would find out about it. Her angered and jealous attitude would cause her to do things that would make Ichigo question her 'devotion' to Ulquiorra. She was scarier than Satan himself, when she was throwing one of her bitch-better-stay-away-from-my-man-unless-she-wants-to-get-her-head-bashed-open fits.

Once she sended a girl that was getting a little "too close" to him, -as far as by accidentally touching his hand while trying to take a book from the school library could get- all the way to Africa. That girl Menoly would probably never find her way out the jungle. And at night time she snuck inside the house of a girl who had stolen a pair or his gym shorts, when the girl's parents weren't home. Apparently the nice people in white had to come with a straight jacket to her house to take her away with all the other crazies. What the heck did Rukia do exactly? That poor defenseless Loly girl didn't stand a chance against the small raven girl.

With her wealth and connections, sending someone to another country was nothing more than a chore for her. Rukia did all this, yet she failed to notice an auburn hair girl walking in and out of Ulquiorra's house most of the days?

The **ONLY **girl that the green eyed man would spend his time with didn't see him as a potential lover. She saw him as a friend and apparently liked him for who he was, despite his attitude towards others and the way he would look at everyone with his mask of indifference.

But what was her name again?

Orihime Inoue was it? If Ichigo remember correctly, she was also in their class in school sitting next to him. They would have conversations about things, with her doing most of all the talking since Ulquiorra was never much of a talker. She would laugh and giggle with her bubbly personality.

And oh yes, many of his fans would be gritting their teeth and clenching their fists, looking at Orihime with the intent to kill in their eyes. Those crazy bitches. But the carefree girl would hardly notice, as she would be in her own little happy world, where only she and Ulquiorra existed.

Yet despite this, tons of guys in and out of school looked at her with eyes of lust. Not that it surprised him of course, Orihime had an amazing Goddess like body but not enough for him to forget his love for Rukia and fall for her like any other aroused guy would.

Truthfully, not many guys would ask her out since her white chalk colored guardian would chase them away with his cold glares. So was this a love triangle? He loved Rukia, who liked Ulquiorra who maybe did or did not like Orihime. But Ulquiorra wouldn't look twice at Rukia's direction. Probably not even aware of her existence. So when his fangirls would leave him alone one by one, he would assume that they had finally come to their senses that he wanted nothing to do with them and didn't think that it was actually Rukia's doing that he was finally having some peace.

A love triangle huh? There was unrequited love in it to. For him and Rukia, who was to blind to see that Ulquiorra would never like her the way she wanted him to or see that Ichigo wanted her the way she wanted Ulquiorra. Was it for him too? Did Ulquiorra like Orihime? The only female friend she had in school. The green eyed man would always stare at her, when he was sure she wasn't looking after all.

So Orihime didn't like anybody, right? Was she too air headed to like a guy in a romantic way? The funny thing was that it could have been a Love Square if it turns out that Orihime liked him. But that also wasn't likely. Ichigo barely says two words to her even though they were in the same classroom. And even if he would try to speak to her, Ulquiorra possessed some crazy anti-people barrier that separated the outside world from them. Shit, that dude was probably a magician or something.

Ichigo placed the binoculars once more on his eyes to see if Rukia was coming out of the shower anytime soon. And there she was! Coming out with a pink gown that had a chappy bunny on it. Aww she looked so cute!

Ichigo once more sighed in bliss trying to forget all about Ulquiorra and more on his love interest drying her hair with a black hair dryer. She was so fuckin cute.

* * *

It was late at night when a click was heard from the door as it swung opened revealing a slightly irritated Ulquiorra. Leaving the shopping bags that were filled with new clothes that he had just purchase for himself on a nearby counter, he made his way to the living room already hearing the loud and unnecessary noises in a cartoon that was coming from the TV. If the TV was on, then it either meant that another young woman was trespassing in his house to take one of his possessions. Preferably his clothes. Or it meant that she was in his house again.

This brought Ulquiorra a somewhat content feeling, to know that she was in his house without his presence, didn't make him angry at all. His irritated mood suddenly leaving him. In fact, every time he saw the auburn haired girl, his chest would tighten in a constricted type of way. Ulquiorra wasn't foolish, he knew that he felt what he felt was because he was attracted to the woman. There was no other explanation.

As Ulquiorra walked toward the source of the noise, his footsteps oh so quiet, he was glad to see said person lying on her stomach on the couch watching the TV, one hand holding the remote, while the other holding a lollipop.

"Woman." He finally said.

Finally turning her attention away from the noises that the cartoon was making, Orihime turned her head towards the new voice, a big smile spreading across her face as her eyes widen in happiness. "Ulquiorra, your back!"

Unable to compress her happiness much longer, Orihime literally leaped from the couch and ran towards him, wrapping her arms around his upper torso and giving him a big hug.

Actually, a hug so big that they both ended up falling to the floor.

A loud thud was heard as Ulquiorra's body landed first on the living room floor, as Orihime's head was now lying on his chest. Unnoticeable to her, the pale man cheeks had turned a light shade of pink from the contact of having her body on top of his while only wearing a thin layer of clothing from the hot weather outside, her full breasts pressed against his now clothed chest, their legs now tangled while her arms were still around him. Her long auburn hair tickling his face as the smell of her lavender shampoo filled his nostrils. The friction of both their bodies being pressed together was becoming too much for the raven haired man.

Ulquiorra had to suppress a soft moan before finally being able to recover from the glomp that he had just received. "Woman, get off of me." His voice slightly losing its original cold tone.

He tried to ignore the way his heart was beating faster than usual or the fact that Orihime was only wearing a small pink tank top along with jean shorts, which showed off her creamy slender legs, narrow waist, and her soft curvy hips. Her summer outfit complimented her flat stomach and well proportioned body. And with her full breasts, that small pink tank top did everything to show that her body pretty much put every woman's body in the planet to shame. The way her full pink lips curved when she smiled was to die for. The way her grey eyes showed innocence with the curiosity of a child's was absolutely adorable on her heart shaped face. The mind of a girl, yet with the body of a woman. That was Inoue Orihime. The most kindest and beautifullest woman to have ever walked the face of the earth.

Said girl was still lying on top of him, not really being bothered by their positions at the moment, but instead at the fact that Ulquiorra wasn't home when she entered his house earlier in the morning.

"Where were you Ulquiorra?" Her sweet voice filled with curiosity. Orihime lifted up her head so that both their eyes melt. She removed her arms that she had around him and instead folded them on his chest, with her chin resting upon them, her gaze never leaving him.

"I thought I would come and visit you on such a beautiful day so we could spend time together but when I took the key from under the mat like I always so and unlocked the door you wasn't here!" She was pouting now, her eyes showing disappointment at the fact that he wasn't there to greet her when she came.

"So I decided to wait for you in the kitchen a couple of minutes, to see maybe if I waited long enough, you would show up with a big basket of cupcakes covered in red bean paste like a genie, but you never did! So after awhile I got bored and decided to turn on the TV and watch reruns of Tom and Jerry, sure it was very funny but that was at 11:00 in the morning. It is now 11:00 at night. That was ten hours ago Ulquiorra! You weren't home for like the whole day! I thought I was going to die of boredom without you!"

Orihime unfolded her arms and instead placed them on his chest to push herself upwards, now straddling him. Untangling her legs from his, she placed one hand on her hip and the other pointing the lollipop accusingly at him.

"So you better tell me where you were Mister." Her eyebrows furrowed as her lips were now pouting in a childish manner as she tried to get information out of her friend, showing him her best angry face.

Ulquiorra almost sighed in disappointment from the sudden coldness with their bodies no longer being close together, but was still happy that she hasn't stood up yet, their bodies still connected in a way. Even if she was just straddling him.

"Woman you must forgive me." His voice finally gaining his normal composure. "I had to make a couple of purchases for myself, seeing as that my clothes continue to vanish mysteriously." His mind drifted off to that young raven girl he met earlier. _Maybe not so mysteriously _he thought. "I was going to inform you earlier in the day, but you know how **THEY** are. Following me around all the time does not seem to keep them content anymore. They would most likely start a World War 3 if they saw you standing side by side with me."

He was extremely annoyed at the fact that he couldn't step outside for one moment without having to see one of his admirers gawking at him, or that whenever he and the woman tried to spend time together outside, they would look at her with disgust and jealousy. But the woman didn't mind. She was use to the looks that his crushes would give her.

And that's what annoyed him the most. The fact that she was so use to seeing other girls harbor feelings for him that it was pretty much an everyday thing for her. The woman didn't mind the other girls feeling for him because she was only his friend.

Only his friend and nothing more…this friend zone was unbearable.

Feeling satisfied from his answer, Orihime finally got off of Ulquiorra - much to his disappointment- and went back to sit in his soft and comfy couch to continue watching cartoons. She smiled as she pat a place on the coach to motion for him to sit down right next to her.

Ulquiorra stood up from the floor and approached the woman. Enjoying the giggles that she was making from the trashy cartoon. He glanced at the T.V that showed a cat getting hurt from the pathetic tricks that the mouse always had for him. But that was because the cat was jealous. Jealous that his love interest was paying more attention to the mouse than him. Yet the female cat didn't even notice the jealousy of her male friend. Therefore when the cat would try to hurt the mouse, the female cat would scold and punish him in return –with a frying pan- for even trying to hurt her small and cute little companion. Ulquiorra slightly pitied the pathetic cat. All he really wanted was the love of the female cat. To feel useful to her. To be able to be happy with her without **ANYBODY** getting in their way.

Kurosaki Ichigo was getting in the way.

Ulquiorra clenched his fist.

In **THEIR** way.

In the way of him and the woman finally being together.

The thrash that couldn't see how the love of the woman had for him was sincere and pure as an angel.

His angel.

An angel that he was reluctant to share with another man.

The raven haired man continue to watch the trashy cartoon, ever so slightly annoyed that she couldn't see the effect she had on him. Like just now for example.

She was oblivious to his slightly flushed face or the way his heart would pound like crazy when she was near him.

Especially when she would just glomp him the way she did right out of the blue. But he knew that she didn't really mean to make him feel this way.

The woman never noticed, after all their years together, how her acts of care and affection for her childhood friend would result in making Ulquiorra feel so distraught. Whenever she hugged him, pat him or touch him in any physical way; she couldn't see the fact that Ulquiorra craved more of her touch. Whenever she pulled her hand away, she couldn't see the disappointment in his face. See the longing in his eyes.

She couldn't see how much he desired her.

He didn't mind if it was her touching him but he especially did mind when his admirers would try to do so. Those girls would just annoy and anger him, with their "accidental" touches. Like brushing their shoulders together when the hallway wasn't even crowded. Or pretend that they were going to grab the same book as him at the library, which would cause their hands to brush ever so slightly.

Ulquiorra didn't need their touch. Only the woman's. He only needed –only wanted- her skin to come into contact with his. Whether it was a hug, shake, or friendly gesture. The woman's touch was the only thing that he was dying for.

The green eyed man lost his trail of thought as he felt something being placed on his lap. Green eyes widened, as he lowered his head to question the new pressure that he was feeling. He felt his heart rate increasing again, as he saw that the woman got tired of just sitting and instead layed on the couch with her head now placed on his lap. She looked like she was in deep thinking.

The woman's lips were slightly parted as her half lidded eyes stared at a random spot on the black carpeted floor. Both her hands pressed against her chest like a silent prayer. Her legs pressed against her stomach, showing that she was in a curled up position.

"Don't leave me Ulquiorra…" Her voice barely a whisper. "I don't like to be left alone." Ulquiorra's heart sank at the sight before him. She too depended on him just as much as he needed her.

"I don't like coming here, not knowing that you aren't here. You're my best friend Ulquiorra, and I don't want your admirers to change that." She sounded distant now. "I know it's selfish, but I want you to be always be by my side, I want us to be friends forever…" Her hand leaving her chest to instead clutch at his black jeans, as if she didn't want to let him go

As if she depended on him like lungs depending on oxygen.

Ulquiorra slowly lifted his arm from his side and placed it on her head, brushing and letting her hair fall between his pale fingers. The woman's hair was soft and silky, and he liked the way it felt in his hand. "Oh and Ulquiorra, you got fan mail again."

Wow, what a way to ruin the moment.

"Your mail box was chalked full of them." Ulquiorra irritation came back. "And you were left with so much voice messages that I had to delete them and start it over, only have it fill up in an hour." Yup, the irritation was still there. "So I wrote the messages in a notepad." At this the woman slightly blushed. "But they said some e-explicit stuff."

"Explicit stuff?" Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

She was blushing such a deep red, that a tomato could have gotten jealous. She buried her face in his lap as she embarrassingly spoke. "Um y-yea…they said tthat they wanted to r-remove your clothes with t-their teeth, and that they w-wanted to l-lick your naked body over and over again." The woman was moving her hands together in a nervous mannered. Her face blushing dangerously red as he continued to play with her hair.

Ulquiorra sighed. "Woman I..." His voice was cut off when he heard a loud growl coming from her stomach.

Orihime's eyes opened widened as she quickly got into a sitting position on the couch, not noticing Ulquiorra's disappointment. The raven wanted to continue touching her auburn hair.

The woman giggled as a small blush appeared on her cheeks. "I guess its dinner time now, huh?" Scratching the back of her head, she was slightly embarrassed to have her stomach growl when near her emotionless best friend. "How about we order some pizza?" She suggested. For some weird reason, she wasn't allowed to cook, **EVER** in his kitchen. people said her cooking was so bad that it could have been used as a torture weapon back in the middles ages. How rude!

Orihime watched as Ulquiorra took out his cell phone from his back pocket and began to dial a pizza place that was nearby. 1-800-Las-Noches. It ranged once…twice…the phone was picked up.

"Hello?" A young happy preteen answered. "This is Las Noches's Pizza Delivery, how may I help you?"

"Yes, I would like an extra large pizza with gummy worms, black licorice, mini marshmallows, and chocolate filled crust." He answered cooly. Noticing the way, the woman was giving him two thumbs up for ordering her favorite pizza. Sweet and sugary pizza.

"…Um yes sir! We will have your pizza delivered as faster than you can say Onomonopia!"

" Onomonopia, now see to it that you're here shortly before I lose my patience. The truth was that the pale man had **LOTS** of patience, but this particular employee always annoyed him. "House #444, on Seireitei Street." And with that, he ended the call.

"Yea, my favorite pizza! I love you Ulquiorra!" Orihime once more tackled him to the floor with a bear hug.

"L-love?" His eyes widening, a small blush appearing on his face.

The pale man let out an "oof" before falling to the floor with the woman. "Here, Ulquiorra! You deserve a treat." The auburn haired girl took the lollipop that she had and popped it into Ulquiorra's mouth. Cherry flavor quickly filled his taste buds. Realization finally hit him like a smack across the face. _This lollipop has been in the woman's mouth...with her saliva in it...her tongue licking all over it...OH MY GOD._

Ulquiorra blushed.

**

* * *

**"Ichigo, what the hell!"

"Rukia, they taste exactly the same!"

"No they Fruckin don't!

"Fruckin?"

"Yea, I thought of putting the first letter in my name in the word fuck, and now I made it sound more badass like. Cool right?"

"Rukia, it's stupid."

"Shut the hell up, you fruck!" The short girl was annoyed now. "When I asked for you to come by my house to hangout, I thought that maybe we could have had fun since Nii-sama had to stay late at his work tonight and what not, and you live right across the street from us! But _NO_ you just had to come and ruin it by bringing the wrong donuts that I asked for!"

"Chocolate donuts and powdered donuts taste exactly the same!" Ichigo answered back. Dammit, donuts were donuts. What was the difference?

"GAH!" Rukia sat on a white lounge chair with an angry scowl on her face. Hey purple eyes showed annoyance as she took her house phone that was on a small coffee table beside her and began to dial.

"Who are you calling?" Ichigo curious now.

The raven haired girl ignored him, and instead focused on the number of times the phone was ringing.

It ranged once…twice…the phone was picked up.

"Hello?" "This is Las Noches's Pizza Delivery, how may I help you?" Asked a perky happy boy.

"Um, yea I would like a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese, and easy on the crust! I like my crust soft and not burnt!" She sighed, this particular delivery boy always got the orders mixed up.

"Yes, ma'am!" "I will have your pizza shortly delivered before you can say Onomonopia!"

"Onomo- w hat the fruck now?" Rukia always hated energetic people. Those crazies would always annoy her with their cheerful personality and their go lucky attitude. She preferred someone quiet and serious. Like Ulquiorra. He was a piece of man candy right there! Oh, yes he was. Son of a bitch, he was hot…

"Look I just want my pizza to be delivered to my house #339 on Seireitei Street!" She was losing her temper now. "And be quick about it too! I'm frickin starving here!"

"Oh, so now freakin is changed to frickin? The brown eyed man smirked. "So what's next Rukes? Is bitch gonna be britch from now on too?" Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at that one.

Ignoring her childhood nick name, Rukia gave him a death glare indicating that she hated being interrupted when on the phone. Even if she was speaking to some lowly delivery boy. "Yes ma'am, I'll be on my way!" Hanging up the phone, the short girl let out a sigh. There was an awkward silence in the living room now.

Rukia was the first to break the silence. "Wanna do karaoke?" Ichigo let out a smile. "Bring it on!"

* * *

At Las Noches's pizza delivery…

"Okay my boy, you can do this!" A blind man was currently giving his adopted son a shoulder massage to prepare him for the task at hand. "You know what they say? Don't you my boy? You must always learn from your mistakes! Sure you had a bunch of mistakes, but third's time always the charm!" The dark haired man seized his movements. "Or was it the twelfth?"

"This would be my thirteenth mistake today dad!" The blond preteen smiled wide.

"Now, now Wonderweiss, you're not supposed to be proud of your mistakes, your suppose to learn from them!"

The young boy was more than eager to get to work. He always loved the taste of pizza. The smell of it when an oven would open, letting out its delicious smell. Almost tempting him to climb the pizzeria's counter and just grabbed the damn pie. So working at the Las Noches pizza delivery was perfect at him! Well, that and the fact that his memory was as useless as a fish, thus making him forget the orders of his customers. So that's why his adopted father Tosen, hired him to work at his Las Noches pizza delivery, to keep him in sight and well in mind. When Wonderweiss felt like focusing every once in awhile. Sometimes. Which was rare. Okay, hardly never.

Said boy stood up from his seat, already leaving the kitchen, picking up both large boxes of pizza to take them to their respective customers. To the short tempered woman who could probably scare global warming out of the earth. And that cold man with the sexy bedroom voice. Wonderweiss had both their orders.

An extra large pizza with gummy worms, black licorice, mini marshmallows, and chocolate filled crust, and a large pepperoni pizza, extra cheese, with nice and soft crust.

Hopping on to his bike, the delivery boy placed both large boxes of pizza in the back of his bike, and rode off. Las Noches was located in Hollow Street, and the pizzas were to be delivered to Seireitei street, house #339 and #444. Good, both houses lived only several blocks away from each other, so the distance weren't too far.

Oh, how he loved his job! Especially the delivering part. To be on the official Las Noches's bike, to feel the wind blow on his short hair, to be pedaling and pedaling, to feel the blood running through his veins, to hear himself pant and sweat from all the work out he was doing. Feeling as energetic and happy as he was feeling, Wonderweiss deciding to sing to one of his favorite songs.

" I'm a little teapot, short and stout, here is my handle, here is my sprout!"

It seems that singing made time go by fast because in what should have been a twenty minute bike ride, ended half its time. So he was at house #444 in only ten minutes. Ah, that was such a great song. He loved that song. ! Wonderweiss kept repeating the song in his head happily as he took one of the large boxes of pizza in the basket after leaving his bike in the front lawn of his customer's house. He walked to the front door, his left hand holding the pizza and his right getting ready to know on the door. Voices were heard before even touch the door though.

"The pizza boy is here, I just know it!" A cute and energetic voice yelled. It sounded so nice and happy that he almost stopped the radio in his head that was playing his song.

"Woman, I did not recall hearing a knock on the door." Oh, there was the man with the sexy bedroom voice!

"Yea I know! But my pizza boy is here senses are tingling!"

"Seven?" There's the man again. "Then may I ask, what's the sixth?" His voice getting somewhat serious. Maybe he was jealous that he didn't have a sixth sense?

There was silence in the room now. Which probably meant that they were having an awkward moment. Oh no, this was bad! He heard once that every time there's was an awkward moment, then a aliens from mars would die! Feeling obligated to help their species, Wonderweiss quickly knocked on the door. Probably faster and louder then he should have. He heard loud footsteps running to the door way.

When the door finally opened, Wonderweiss had to blink slowly to make sure there wasn't an apocalypse going on. Because he could have sworn an angel from heaven just answered the door!

Normally the blond preteen wasn't interested in the female species. They had cooties and what not; he was thirteen years old after all. But just looking at this girl right in front of him, got his preteen hormones to skyrocket! She had a great body, long auburn hair, beautiful grey eyes, and smooth creamy skin. What a babe! With her jean shorts and pink tank top revealing some of her flawless body, the girl was smoking hot! All thoughts of cooties ever existing disappeared from his mind.

The girl looked down at him happily, specifically at the pizza box in his hand. "You see Ulquiorra? I was right! The pizza boy is here." Her eyes beamed at the thought of her being right. She sounded so happy.

Ulquiorra came into view, emotionless as ever. But his emerald eyes showed annoyance at the sight of Wonderweiss removing the woman's clothes with his eyes.

"Delivery boy, you have done what you were order to do, now leave." The pale man reached out to him with a twenty dollar bill in his hand. And two single bills, probably his tip for the delivering. Hmm, for a man with such a sexy bedroom voice, he had a very cold attitude.

Finally snapping out of his fanboy moment, Wonderweiss smiled and took the money from the giver. "Thank you for choosing Las Noches pizza delivery, please call again!" He gave them a short bow before putting the money in his pocket. The door shutted with a slam, as he heard more voices coming from the inside.

"I was right Ulquiorra, my seven sense never failed me once. Now you owe me a hug!" He heard more footsteps being heard in a quicker pace. And the sound of a loud thump and giggling filled the room afterwards.

"Woman, get off of me! You're going to demolish your meal. "Your preferable pizza at that." The Ulquiorra guy sounded nervous and, his cool tone leaving him.

Deciding that he had enough of hearing mushy mushy love from the couple inside. The lavender eyed preteen got on his bike, off to his next pizza delivery. House #339. It was a good thing that this house wasn't so far from the "Love Birds." Arriving there in only a couple of minutes, he didn't even step off his bike, before hearing two different people singing songs that were so loud, that he was surprised none of the neighbors complained yet.

**"Take me on the floor!" **The guy sang.

_"Dadada da dadadada."_ The short tempered girl repeated.

**"I can't take it any more"**

_"Dadada da dadadada."_

**"I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love!"**  
**"Just take me on the floor."**

_"Dadada da dadadada."_

**"I can give you more."**

_"Dadada da dadadada"_

**"You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch."**

_"I want to kiss a girl. I want to kiss a girl."_

**"I want to kiss a boy!"**

Was the guy who was singing gay? Although the girl's voice was really good, the guy's voice was also good, except he sounded reluctant to sing specific lyrics of the song. Wonderweiss didn't blame him though. The words that the girl would make him sing would have made any man embarrassed.

"Come on Ichigo, sing the fruckin part already!" Who knew that the short tempered girl had such a great voice? "When I point to you, it means it's your cue!" "There's no point in trying to beat me in karaoke, if you don't even want to sings the songs I choose."

"Well that's because the songs you choose make me sound like a total homo!" He was trying to protect what little masculinity he had left. And the fact that the girl was really determined didn't help the man at all. "It's just a song, you idiot! It dosen't matter if it makes you sound gay!" Thinking that he had enough suffering, the delivery boy went up to the doorsteps and knocked. Both arguments had stopped, as he heard large footsteps approaching the door. An orange haired teen looked down at him with an embarrassed face. He took the pizza box from Wonderweiss after handing him a fifty dollar bill. The pizza was only fifteen dollars. Whoa talk about a tip! "Dude, just don't ask…" The customer sighed. "Just accept the tip as an act of kindness before I die of embarrassment in here." He said pointing to the inside of the house.

"Ichigo, get the hell over here!" The girl shrieked. "You're not getting a single slice of that pizza until you come over here and finish this song!"

"Duty calls." The brown eyed man went inside the house leaving the delivery boy to go back to his bike and once again on his way to Las Nachos. "Hehe, he said dootie". Wonderweiss giggled.

Hm, what weird people. First there was that beautiful auburn haired girl and her most likely cold boyfriend with the awesome voice. Then there was that oranged haired man that was use to being man handled by a short tempered girl. Feeling accomplished that he did a job well done; Wonderweiss began to sing his song at full volume. "I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLE AND HERE IS MY SPROUT!"

Finally arriving at Las Noches, he was greeted with a happy Tosen, waiting for him at the front door. "Wonderweiss! You're here. The blind man smiled, happy that his son had done a job well done. "I hope you didn't get the order mixed up again." He said jokingly.

"Of course not dad!" The preteen walked up to him, taking out the money from his pocket and showing it to the man. "House #444 gave me twenty dollars for the extra large pepperoni and house #339 gave me fifteen for the sweet pizza. He said happily and proud at his awesome delivery service.

Both didn't speak.

There was only silence.

The sound of cars passing by and the occasional talking among people were heard.

**LET'S TAKE A LOOK INSIDE THE MIND OF WONDERWEISS! OHH! THERE'S SOME CRAZY STUFF IN THERE, I SAY! YAY FOR THE PIZZA BOY!**

"Wonderweiss." And the purple haired man has finally spoken!

At this moment, said boy really wanted to wear a dress right about now.

"Son?"

_Oh, yea! A frilly dress too! One with pretty flowers, bright colors, and a really cool summer hat too! Gah! But then he might have to get his hair done too? So then what about his nails? Maybe a cute pink color would do? Should he get layers? The decisions he would have to make! Maybe, leave it as a bun? Thinking was making his brain hurt! He needed some brain food. Maybe he should order a pizza somewhere? But oh dammit what pizza place is still open at this time? It WAS pretty late…Well that idea quickly went into the garbage. Wait, a minute! He could always sing! Come on Wonderweiss, you can do this. Let's sing your heart out!_

"Son, answer me!"

_"I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT...!"_

Then the poor Wonderweiss fainted, causing his father to drop to the ground on his knees, looking up at the sky.

"Son, no! Why God, why! Why is faith so cruel to us!" And with that, Tosen fainted as well.

… At the Schiffer's residence

Orihime was scared. No, scared wasn't the word. It was more like despair. Like having a horrible darkness consume your body. Your mind broken, your body not being able comprehend a simple action such as movement. She took a step back, away from the 'box' of despair, the source of her uneasy feelings. Her eyes wide as saucers-from seeing something so shocking- her face buried in the sleeve of her friend. She wanted it to go away. This wasn't what she asked for. She didn't need it. She didn't want it. So why was it here? "U-ulquiorra?" She had to make sure he was here. To make sure he didn't disappear like her hope. Like her happiness. "What is that **THING**?" She pointed to the box of despair, she didn't want to go near it, not even look at it. So she gripped his arm even tighter.

"That would be pepperoni pizza, woman."

"I know that but WHY is it here?" She sounded scared, unsure of herself. Confused. It was like asking why the sky was blue. "The delivery boy must have made a mistake with our orders." Ulquiorra answered. "That thrash." His voice revealing a hint of annoyance.

A couple of moments passed, where silence was the only thing that filled the room. Both didn't say anything. They just stared at the box. Well, at least Ulquiorra did. And if food had living souls, then with Ulquiorra's stare, the pizza would have fainted, or die from a state of hyperventilation.

Orihime was too scared to even look at the thing.

"Ulquiorra?" He looked down at his arm, to see her staring back at him, confusion in her eyes.

"Should we throw it away?"

That night, the wild animals ate like kings, but they noticed small empty lollipop stick that was on the ground, it didn't possess a single bit of the sugary sweet left. It was as if the one who ate it, wanted to consume it completely. Savor every last bite, there were even teeth marks left on it.

**YOU DON'T NEED TO SPEAK ANIMAL LANGUAGE TO UNDERSTAND THIS NEXT PART, PEOPLE!**

The raccoon looked at his friend and snickered. _"WHO'S THE CRAZY HUMAN WHO SUCKED UP ON THAT LOLLIPOP, EH BOB?"_

His raccoon brethren looked at him and squeaked too. "_YEA I KNOW WHAT A LOSER; THESE FREAKIN HUMANS CAN EAT PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING. THAT'S WHY THEY'RE HUMANS RIGHT,_ TED?" The raccoon nibbled at the pepperoni from the pizza. Ted no longer stuffing himself with the soft crust he had but instead questioned his role in the world. _WHY IS IT THE STRONG ALWAYS HAVE TO BEAT THE WEAK? WHY CAN'T HUMANS AND ANIMALS GET ALONG? WHY ARE WE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOD CHAIN? WHY ARE HUMANS SO ALIEN LOOKING? THEY DIDN'T EVEN HAVE FUR.! _The small raccoon looked at his crust. _WHY WAS HE EATING OUT OF THE GARBAGE?_ He looked at Bob, annoyed. _"GOD, DO I EVER NEED A LIFE." _Ted took another bite of the crust.

_"GOOD LUCK FINDING THAT IN A THRASH CAN." _Squeaked Bob, taking another bite of his pepperoni.

… At the Kuchiki's residence where loud screaming can be heard.

"Holy shrit, what the fruck is that?"

"Wait, you did order pizza right?"

"No shrit! I ordered pizza."

"So then why that's stuff all over the pizza?"

"How the fruck should I know!"

"Rukia, stop with the lame curses already!"

Said girl climbed looked up (she was so short) and glared at her best friend. "Just wait and see Kurosaki Ichigo." Her voice sounding sinister. "You will rule the day that you ever said such a sentence. Years from now, when were old, crusty and probably wrinkly, THIS."

Rukia walked towards a bookshelf, pulling out a large and heavy dictionary, "This dictionary WILL one day hold all the ingenious and well creative profanities I use. The words will full the page till the very end, having well written definitions of their own." Rukia gave him a proud smile. "So as the day gets nearer when you shall rule the day, I will be standing behind you, watching you, as you commence the ruling."

The orange haired teen blinked. As much as he would like to see the source of his wet dreams stare at him all day, this was getting kind of weird. "Um, if your done talking about you ingenious- Ichigo made quotations with his hands- ideas, and about me ruling the day, can we talk more about important matters, here?" He pointed to the sugary sweet pizza that was lying on the coffee table. He was STARVING, and as famished as he may be, he will certainly not eat a pizza covered in Halloween candy.

"Hmm, this could work in my favor, actually." Said Rukia as she walked towards her large plasma screen TV, dropping the dictionary on the floor and picked up her microphone. "PENALTY GAME!" She screamed out loud, startling her male friend. "For every song you don't sing. You have to take a bite of the gummy pizza." Pointing with her microphone to the pizza and at Ichigo own device. Smirking as she starting to come up with more embarrassing songs for him to sing.

"Fine! I'll play but it will be you who will be doing the eating." Ichigo stood away from the sugary treat and picked up his own microphone, standing next to Rukia.

"Do your worst."

"Oh, I intend to, my friend." Rukia laughed and took out a CD that was lying near the TV and placed it inside the karaoke box."

**10 MINUTES LATER…**

**"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, And their like, It's better than yours, Damn right it's better than yours, I can teach you, But I have to charge! I know you want it, The thing that makes me, What the guys go crazy for. They lose their minds, The way I wind, I think it's time!"**

Rukia was laughing so hard, tears forming in her eyes.


End file.
